Being laid off is one of the most challenging things that can happen in life. It may make you feel disposable, shafted, slighted, angry, and depressed. After my fifth layoff I remember the stages for me were shock, questioning, anger, and finally acceptance. Before you begin to look for your next position, if there’s any hint of negativity, resentment, anger, etc. about your situation, you’ll want to “get the chip off your shoulder.”

For most, employers/interviewers may pick up on the fact that you are negative, bitter, or holding a grudge against your former employer. Don’t come across like a wounded animal. HR professionals and hiring managers will most likely sense this. Don’t succumb to the thought that unemployment is going to be forever or that you’re blacklisted by all companies in your industry.

I think the weight of what we bear as a result of a layoff is too much of a burden for a friend to hear over and over. It’s also embarrassing–even to talk with your closest friends–about how you feel. You need to be honest about your feelings in order to work through them and come out the other side stronger and ready to pound the pavement. I recommend talking to a psychiatrist, your pastor, or a Stephen Minister (an unbiased confidential lay person who’s trained to listen and provide care and support at no cost to those in crisis or difficult life situations.)

Google “Stephen Ministers” + your city to find churches that can get you in touch with one. It was such a support and encouragement to have Wynn, my Stephen Minister, to listen and give advice. He was actually a supervisor at his job and had great perspective. Don’t be ashamed to seek out support or apprehensive to talk to someone new (Stephen Minister or other) about your feelings and situation. Having a shoulder to lean on and someone to listen will help you get back on your feet faster than going it alone.

If you know someone who has recently lost their job, please share this blog with them.